#15 The 4 Pillars of Charisma

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Tom Cruise is one of my favorite actors. I have watched almost all of his movies and I adore him as an actor. Recently, I came to watch some short clips of him appearing on TV talk shows. He is very charismatic and people love him. I watched a lot of his videos and I was really curious to know what makes a person so attractive that people love them so much. I did contemplate a lot, did some research, watched a bunch of videos on Youtube on how to become a charismatic person.

After a few days, I have come to some final thoughts and understandings of which some I already knew and some I learned new. I want to point out 4 specific characteristics of charismatic people here.

  1. They are comfortable with who they are and what they are- Everyone has flaws and insecurities and most of the people are stuck in life because they care too much about their flaws and people's opinions. One major characteristic that differentiates charismatic people from the rest is that they have accepted themselves completely. Their flaws, their strengths, and their insecurities are all taken care of by them. They own themselves and they are proud of themselves. Their physical characteristics and all the other aspects of their life, they are completely comfortable with who they are. Of course, they do listen and care about other people's opinions and perceptions but they do not take them personally unless it is constructive and healthy. They know who they are and they are proud of it.
  2. They are honest and genuine- They don't try to fake. Whatever they do, charismatic people do them with genuine interest and honesty. They are not people pleasers and they don't fake smile or do things to make people like them and respect them. They listen to people not to make them feel like being heard, they listen because they genuinely care about that person. They talk sweetly not because they want to make people know that they are sweet, they talk sweetly because they are genuinely sweet. So, essentially, they are not fake people and fake people are not, and can not be charismatic how hard they try.
  3. They are non-needy- Charismatic people are not needy. They don't feel the need to do anything or have anything. Nobody likes neediness. They don't feel like they need something, rather they feel like they want something. And they work for what they want without any conditions. They care about the effort only. They are happy and content no matter what the outcome is. If the outcome is achieved, they feel great and if not, they're still fine. Because they don't depend on external factors to be happy.
  4. They have solid opinions and strong voice- They know what they are talking about and they have solid opinions. They state them boldly in a strong grounded voice and they don't doubt themselves. They say what they want to say and they are not concerned about other people's opinions. Of course, they don't offend anybody unless it is necessary and they respect everyone and their opinions.

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